Thursday, August 30, 2007

Evil Appliances

Like everyone else, some of the stuff in my residence doesn't function as it should. I also happen to be incredibly lazy most times. But, anyways... I really, truly, one hundred percent know there's something... sinister about my dishwasher. In the beginning, it worked just fine, and I was psyched because I had never had a dishwasher before. I had to wash 'em by hand like a primitive human being. So, everything was cool, until it randomly decided to start depositing a sandy substance onto the dishes. It also was doing a horrible job of cleaning them. (Yes, I rinsed them before!) This was the beginning of the rebellion. I didn't think too much of it and went out to buy some dishwasher cleaning solution. The dishwasher was appeased by the offering of lemony goodness. However, it soon began acting up yet again. This time with far worse results. I decided to clean it yet again. This time, however, the apartment was filled with a decidedly sulfur stench. This is when I knew that my dishwasher is either a portal to hell or possessed. (I heard sulfur emits from demonic beings.) "This dishwasher shall never be opened again!" I proclaimed.
Just the other day, I had a few drinks, and curiosity got the best of me. I unsealed the unholy portal, peering carefully inside. The entire bottom of the machine was filled with a pinkish embryonic fluid. I believe I saw something twitch as I hastily closed the door. There is something gestating in my dishwasher. It's sentient.
What should I do?!


a.k.a. Blandly Urbane said...

Sounds like it needs trap cleaning or the drainage is all screwy and rather than draining properly it just kind of holds on to some of crap somewhere in there.

These are only theories mind you as I'm lazy as well and haven't looked into this issue myself with my dishwasher; dishpan hands aren't so bad I guess, but working dishwashers are better.

Amber said...

my dishwasher is evil too. I have no idea where the food trap dealy is, and have since stopped using my dishwasher after cleaning it for the last time.

I'm beginning to think they aren't worth it.