Thursday, November 8, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Hi, all. I have not been able to write due to the "bots" in Blogger assuming I am one of them. Now, why would they think that? Anyways, I went to get schooled today... schooled in psychology and graphic design (where we played with rocks, no, seriously...). I also ended up in a class which I wasn't taking by accident. In my rush to get out the door, I failed to see that my Shakespeare in Film class was in two different rooms, depending on which day it was. So, I ended up sitting through a business class, because I felt the teacher was very nice. Nice enough to not have me interrupt her syllabus by walking out... Oh, well. Anyways, here's a Captain Jack video. He's mad cool. R.I.P. Cap'n. ::sob::
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Like everyone else, some of the stuff in my residence doesn't function as it should. I also happen to be incredibly lazy most times. But, anyways... I really, truly, one hundred percent know there's something... sinister about my dishwasher. In the beginning, it worked just fine, and I was psyched because I had never had a dishwasher before. I had to wash 'em by hand like a primitive human being. So, everything was cool, until it randomly decided to start depositing a sandy substance onto the dishes. It also was doing a horrible job of cleaning them. (Yes, I rinsed them before!) This was the beginning of the rebellion. I didn't think too much of it and went out to buy some dishwasher cleaning solution. The dishwasher was appeased by the offering of lemony goodness. However, it soon began acting up yet again. This time with far worse results. I decided to clean it yet again. This time, however, the apartment was filled with a decidedly sulfur stench. This is when I knew that my dishwasher is either a portal to hell or possessed. (I heard sulfur emits from demonic beings.) "This dishwasher shall never be opened again!" I proclaimed.
Just the other day, I had a few drinks, and curiosity got the best of me. I unsealed the unholy portal, peering carefully inside. The entire bottom of the machine was filled with a pinkish embryonic fluid. I believe I saw something twitch as I hastily closed the door. There is something gestating in my dishwasher. It's sentient.
What should I do?!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The Wal-Mart Prank
TK409 Got a job as a storm trooper
Global Lake Monster Database
Day of the Daleks
I Work With Fools - Anonymously Share Work Related Stories
Why the Super Mario movie is an under appreciated masterpiece
The Stinky Meat Project
I'll admit it, I would be bored to tears without my MacBook and the internets. I love my iGoogle, where I have probably close to half a thousand links (well, that sounded more impressive than saying five hundred). I have the lovely StumbleUpon bottom installed in my Firefox browser. Quite often, I find myself reading an OMG-that-is-the-sweetest-thing-ever story or coming across a really awesome page. So, I've decided to start doing a link list every once in a while. Enjoy!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
So, the craziest thing just happened. I was taking a walk to the corner gas station to buy some cigarettes. As I'm walking out, some middle aged foreign guy in a car asked me if I'm looking for a part time job. I was like, "Uhh..." and he says he owns the gas station and takes me in the back room to discuss the job. He looks at me and goes, "So, you smoke?" making a gesture of smoking a roach. I reply, "Uh, sometimes, I guess?" I stare at his greasy balding head. "So, the job... basically, it's ...cleaning houses. You know how to clean, right?" I say, "Well, of course." He goes on to tell me he's going to pay me under the table, and that he owns several apartment buildings. At this point, I'm feeling quite edgy. I mean, yeah, I had a couple beers, but this was beyond the scope of anything that's happened to me recently (or ever, in this situation). This was completely unexpected. And damn, I'd already given him my name and phone number. After speaking very very briefly about the "job," he asks me if I do anything "hard." As in drugs, get your mind out of the-- well, maybe. Maybe he was trying to get me to become a sex slave. OMG. I reply quickly, "No! Of course not!" He smiles, "So, would you like to go get some 'stuff,' or are you busy?" I mumble, "No, I've got to go back..." And with that I left, walking briskly back to my apartment. Now, I ask you, WTF?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Wow, this is in my Google bookmarks as a "Future Need." Ha, I would LOVE having one of these! Not to mention, I wouldn't mind having 1, 600 bottles of wine just chilling. I'm sure getting a spiral wine cellar would be very expensive... I just have to work on getting a house. Haha, yeah right. Anyways, go check out their webpage Spiral Cellars.
Just to let anyone who cares know, I'm playing around with different web hosting, and a different title. Just because. New updates coming soon! Above is my cute kitty, for your consideration. Her name is Isis. She loves peanuts, turkey, corn, and pasta! Hehe.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Today is a truly sad day, for I have just found out that my hero, Dan (a.k.a. Tourettes Guy) has passed away. I have read that he passed away about a month after he had suffered injuries caused by a bad car accident. The world is truly a sad place. A moment of silence. Rest in peace. *sob*
Update: Yeah, he's not dead. Whatever. Fuck him.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
My mom was obsessed with H.P. Lovecraft when I was growing up. We lived in this old colonial house in, of course, Rhode Island. We had this well in our front yard, covered by a big grey rock and a little uh, well house? I dunno what you call those. Anyways, she used to tell me that Cthulhu lived in that very well. I had few friends as I kinda lived in the middle of nowhere and went to a private school a half an hour away from home. So, I became fascinated with the concept that Cthulhu lived in MY well. I began writing him notes and drawing pictures which I dropped into the well. I wanted to befriend him. I mean, who wouldn't?! So, today I've done some research about this crazy underwater noise called a "bloop" that scientists recorded. More about this later. :)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
End of Days, Part 1
Marie slumbered peacefully on a Monday morning, blissfully unaware soon her alarm clock would be shrieking the very next minute.
Surely enough, the very next minute, the alarm clock shattered the silence, ushering Marie into another irritating work week. She sighed, hitting the off button. To Marie, this was a perfectly ordinary day. Little did she know, today was her final ordinary day.
Marie went about getting dressed, making her breakfast, and having a strong cup of coffee with her usual cigarette. She fed her lone companion, her cat, before jetting out the front door of her apartment, already fifteen minutes late. The office she worked at was only a few blocks away, so she began running, still half awake. Mornings were not her best time. As she neared the office, she slowed to a walk, trying to catch her breath, on this crisp winter day.
Just then, she ran right into a homeless man bearing a sign about the impending end of days. She apologized, and offered him twenty dollars to get a warm meal. She started walking again, and suddenly turned about when she heard the man thank her. She glanced at him, noticing his mismatched eyes. One was a crisp blue, the other being the color of amber. "It's true, you know," he said with a hacking cough. Marie looked at him, puzzled, "What is?"
The old man laughed hoarsely, "Today is the last day." He said this quite frankly. Marie stared at him for a moment before running up the stairs to her job.
Marie spent the rest of the morning and afternoon at her desk. She had lunch with her fellow co-workers, filed, labeled, and typed up reports. She left shortly after five o'clock, stopping to pick up a quick dinner to throw in her microwave, and renting a movie to doze off to later in the evening. She arrived home, pet her feline companion, had dinner, watched a movie, and fell asleep in her comfy bed. As she feel asleep, she pondered her encounter with the homeless man. She dismissed it, and went off to dreamland.
Marie woke the next morning, cursing under her breath. She hadn't set her alarm clock! As she rubbed the sleep from her grey eyes, she noticed the room was extremely... white. She closed her eyes. She blinked, opening them again. There was nothing. Nothing around her, except her cat, who looked just as confused as her. "This has to be a dream," she mumbled, she stood up, scooping her kitty up into her arms. She started walking, only she seemed to get nowhere. She began to sprint briskly, her growing panic edging in. "Well," she said, pausing, "at least I still have you, my pretty kitty."
"Yes, yes, you do."
Marie looked around, "Hello? Is anyone out there?"
No one seemed to be around, after all there was quite literally nothing. Nothing except Marie and... her cat?! Marie's eyes grew wide, as she almost dropped her feline friend. "Hey," the cat hissed. "Watch it!"
"Oh my god," Marie managed. "I'm nowhere in nothing with a talking cat."
Figuring this just HAD to be a dream, she continued on into the blinding sea of white.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
This is my favorite energy drink. I mean, just look at that lady in the picture. She's just bursting with energy without all those "annoying" peaks and crashes. Anyways, a week or so ago, my boyfriend and I walked to the corner store for cigarettes and drinks. Looking in the energy drink fridge, I noticed a small bottle. It looked neat so I bought it. I haven't had an energy drink for quite a while but, a year ago I was a fiend for these liquid speed drinks.
Hydrive is different. It doesn't have that medicine-y, disgustingly sweet taste. It's like flavored water. And it comes in four flavors. I'm going to have to send the creators something special. Maybe I'll draw a picture of me with lightning bolts coming out of my hands, an empty glowing Hydrive bottle floating in the air above me. Good shite.
The Mütter Museum in Philadelphia. This awesome place is basically a museum for doctors and researchers, but it says the general public can visit too! OMG! I guess the collections are basically of bones, medical anomalies, and such stuff. Highlights include sliced sections of a human head, a giant colon (I've GOT to see that!), 120 human skulls, and eviscerated human bodies. Woohoo! This sounds like the perfect romantic date... It's a shame they don't allow photography though. I want to pose next to the monster colon, perhaps holding that cute conjoined baby up there!
So, tonight, I made myself go to school to take a math test. I got a 70. SO... I have to retake it. The lady there told me that if I had only gotten one more right on my placement test that I took last fall, I'd be in the next class up. They didn't tell me this LAST fall, of course. My boyfriend also pointed out that when in life, are you going to be faced with the following situation (which I have made up to make it sound more dramatic):
She walked home alone that night, through the downpour of rain. She had, of course, not brought an umbrella. The streets were abandoned, the city strangely silent, except for the rain hitting the black pavement. She cursed under her breath that her car had no windshield wipers. That meant she had to walk the five blocks back to her apartment. A sudden sound in an alleyway startled her. Looking over quickly, she saw a shape, possibly a cat?, scurry away from a dumpster. Quickening her pace, she continued, looking back every once in a while. She had the strange feeling she was being followed. Almost to her place of living, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She staggered, frightened, turning around. Her eyes widened, seeing a bizarre figure before her. She was locked in place, wanting to run, but her curious nature kept her there. The figure was that of a blue skinned humanoid creature with sharp teeth like daggers.
"I will let you live if you answer me this one question," it snarled.
Her mouth gaped open, her voice seemed to be lost. Trying again, she asked quietly, "What... are you..?"
The being laughed. "That matters not, mortal. You have one chance to live. Answer me this: what is 67,093 divided by 13 to the sixth power minus 625?"
She struggled to remember the numbers, the difficult question. "I'm not that good with math... mind if I grab a calculator? We're at my flat, afterall," she replied, boldly.
The creature smiled an uneven sharp grin, "No. You are not permitted access to a calculation device. Answer now. Quickly. While I still have my patience about me."
She stared, her eyes wide with fright, "Can I hear that question agai--"
The blue hued visitor's grin grew larger, "Too late," it said. Leaping forward, it's fangs punctured deep wounds into her neck. The world grew smaller and darker to her green eyes. Darker, darker.... blackness and silence.
Woohoo!! Umm, so, not much to say on this one. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get back home, sitting in bed with my laptop. Our dishwasher is serenading me sweetly (or not so much, it sounds like a gathering of wild animals gnashing their teeth). I got to fix that thing. So loud. Ugh.
Anyways, I found out today that when I type "blog" into Google search, it comes back with 1.5 Million links! OMG. I'll never get noticed but I really don't care. I'm kinda doing this as a project to document my days (however boring) and my favorite sites.
Today I found an awesome blog called My Crazy Roommate, you might notice it in my links section. Damn, that shit is too good. Go read it. Maybe this blog will be better when you come back.